How much should be put on Facebook?

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TaylorKnows
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How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by TaylorKnows »

Now I admit, I do post quite a bit on Facebook, but since my parents and other older family members are on my page, I try not to curse or put anything too personal. I have a friend that uses Facebook like it's her diary. She'll put things like "I can hear my brother fucking his girlfriend in the next room" or "My dad's being a fucking jack ass" or cursing and putting her brothers' names on there telling them to do stuff, basically airing all her dirty laundry on Facebook. By now, most of our friends have just blocked her from our feed, especially after the whole "I can hear my brother fucking his girlfriend". This morning the first thing she puts? Complaining about her family and how she'll never forgive them. By now, I'm just going to block her from my feed, especially since she put that no one must give a crap about her because no one responds to her posts...no one knows how! No one cares about your family's dysfunction. Her parents are like the nicest people ever and give her whatever she wants. Okay, yes maybe something's going on behind closed doors that I don't know about, but I think if there was, she'd be putting it on Facebook. :roll:

But I was talking to someone else who's not a friend of this friend and they said that people can put whatever they want on Facebook and if you're going to have issues with someone constantly venting, just get off Facebook. She is the only friend I have on there that talks that way. I'm just wondering how you feel about people that air out all of their dirty laundry on Facebook just for attention?
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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by loopyloo »

TaylorKnows wrote:But I was talking to someone else who's not a friend of this friend and they said that people can put whatever they want on Facebook and if you're going to have issues with someone constantly venting, just get off Facebook. She is the only friend I have on there that talks that way. I'm just wondering how you feel about people that air out all of their dirty laundry on Facebook just for attention?
Of course people can put what they want on Facebook, but they doesn't mean it's wise. I have heard of plenty of disputes and relationship breakdowns occuring between friends, family and even communities due to people venting on Facebook. There are certainly a lot of people who have lost their job through doing that.

The problem with slagging off people online is that you end up looking bad. If I see someone doing that on Facebook I don't automatically assume they are the victim and the person they are criticising is the bad guy. I start wondering what the other person's side of the story is. If you constantly do it you just end up looking a bit mental to be honest. If your friend's family are good people she will just end up looking like a spoilt little drama queen. Personally, I think if you have an issue with someone you deal with it face to face.

BTW, I take it your friend would be totally fine if her family starting airing all her dirty secrets on Facebook? If she has the bedroom next door to her brother I am sure he might have some tales to tell ("I heard my sister masturbating whilst listening to One Direction last night - LOL")

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by TaylorKnows »

loopyloo wrote:
TaylorKnows wrote:But I was talking to someone else who's not a friend of this friend and they said that people can put whatever they want on Facebook and if you're going to have issues with someone constantly venting, just get off Facebook. She is the only friend I have on there that talks that way. I'm just wondering how you feel about people that air out all of their dirty laundry on Facebook just for attention?
Of course people can put what they want on Facebook, but they doesn't mean it's wise. I have heard of plenty of disputes and relationship breakdowns occuring between friends, family and even communities due to people venting on Facebook. There are certainly a lot of people who have lost their job through doing that.

The problem with slagging off people online is that you end up looking bad. If I see someone doing that on Facebook I don't automatically assume they are the victim and the person they are criticising is the bad guy. I start wondering what the other person's side of the story is. If you constantly do it you just end up looking a bit mental to be honest. If your friend's family are good people she will just end up looking like a spoilt little drama queen. Personally, I think if you have an issue with someone you deal with it face to face.

BTW, I take it your friend would be totally fine if her family starting airing all her dirty secrets on Facebook? If she has the bedroom next door to her brother I am sure he might have some tales to tell ("I heard my sister masturbating whilst listening to One Direction last night - LOL")
:? I wouldn't be surprised if that were true...lmao.
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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by incognito »

I kind of hate facebook. It used to be fun when it was only open to college students, because you could post just about anything you wanted without having to worry too much about who might see it. It also didn't have all the stupid apps/games/invites that there are now. It mainly existed to look up hot guys that were in the same class as you and post party pics, and was awesome for those purposes. After they opened it up to everyone, I honestly don't post anything on it anymore and removed a lot of the thingsfrom before or set them to private. Not that I even had anything bad, I just don't see a need for having every single person I know view everything about my life. I think facebook has made people way more narcissistic - they post tons of pictures and updates about their lives not because they genuinely want to share, it's just to make themselves feel important. It's like nothing really "counts" unless you brag about it on facebook so that everyone else knows about it. For example - for my sister's birthday I went out to dinner with her, bought her a nice gift, and of course told her happy birthday in person. The next day - she wanted to know why I didn't post happy birthday on her facebook wall! Who the hell cares??

tl;dr - Facebook sucks and is turning everyone into a bunch of assholes

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by wanderlust »

I think a minimal amount should be put on any social networking site. I post on facebook 3-5 times a week, whether it be music or a status update. I think posting too much takes away mystery from your life and people just begin to really dislike you. I've come to dislike so many people on there because of the things they posted. For example, one person always felt the need to talk about the baby she'd miscarried 5+ years ago and "what they were doing in heaven now" or something. Others I came to dislike and unfriend because they only posted religious things. SO many people overshare on there. I don't know if this advice helps, but I've felt much better after deleting about 80 people on there. Now, I think I've got 50ish people on there and that feels just right. If you don't want to flat-out delete people, select the option not to see their updates or to see only important updates. That helps a lot too..out of sight, out of mind.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by catcherintherye »

Some people have no sense of boundaries. Someone I know posted pictures of the open casket from his grandfather's funeral. This other girl I know. She posts vulgar sexual jokes and shares those annoying e cards on fb all the time. I read them and I laugh. They are funny. But I wouldnt share them. I would never share something that will cause my child embarrassment. And let's admit it, her baby will go wtf was mom thinking if he ever sees her fb. Also, she is hoping her boyfriend of 7 years proposes to her. He won't if she keeps acting like a facebook slut. I hate it when people switch their status to single after a fight and remove all pictures... Then they move back with their boyfriend or husband and change it again. This is a cycle and again... Embarrassing for the chdren.many women in my distant family do this and it drives me nuts. People who post their picture in the same pose every other day. Ugh! And attention whores! Look I wore green eyeshadow again. Look my baby spilled all her food on her chin. Please stop! No one cares.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by wanderlust »

^just adding on to the unnecessary post thing...one woman posted pictures of her swollen pregnancy feet and then later on her baby with a full diaper and a story about the mess it made on the bed. Really?

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by TaylorKnows »

Yeah, I made it so I can't see her posts because if I unfriended her, it'd cause so much drama. It just annoys me so much and I wish she would see how stupid she looks. Everyone says she goes in way too deep.
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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by LadyKaiko »

I'm a Facebook junkie. If I have a problem with a person I'm friends with because of their stupid statuses, I just unfriend them. I also tell people if they don't like what I say, they can unfriend me. I really don't care how many friends I have and if what I say offends them. I'm kind of tempted to unfriend this one girl because she's kind of snobby and still stuck in that emo phase that everyone goes through. But then she posts funny cat pictures and I forget about unfriending her. XD

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by wanderlust »

What I post on facebook has changed significantly since adding my mom, 14 year old sister (she was 11 when she got one), and many other relatives. My cousin used to post party pictures but has stopped now. he said "damn" or something in a post last year and a relative seriously scolded him right on his status even though he was 25 (around that age, I think). It isn't the same.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by LadyKaiko »

@wanderlust: I don't see what's wrong with the messy diaper story. I would like to know about if it's funny if I were her friend. I also don't see what's wrong with talking about a miscarried baby. She lost a baby..
On another note, a lot of my friends are pregnant or have a baby. These girls are my age or younger and it's scaring me! But it's also making me jealous. I've had crazy baby fever for a long time and seeing baby pictures blow up my newsfeed makes me sad. :/ I'm also not friends with my parents, even though I live on my own.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by TaylorKnows »

I had someone unfriend me because I liked the "Timmy Fucking Turner" page, it has a bunch of crazy memes that I think are funny. He messaged me telling me he didn't like the word "fuck" and so he was going to unfriend me, but to message him at any time. Hey to each their own. I'd rather have him unfriend me then make stupid comments on it. As for the miscarriage thing, I can see bringing it up in the beginning but it's been 5 years...the pain never goes away but to constantly bring it up on FB makes things awkward and I'm sure many feel obligated to say "Oh I'm so sorry. =("
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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by wanderlust »

LadyKaiko wrote:@wanderlust: I don't see what's wrong with the messy diaper story. I would like to know about if it's funny if I were her friend. I also don't see what's wrong with talking about a miscarried baby. She lost a baby..
On another note, a lot of my friends are pregnant or have a baby. These girls are my age or younger and it's scaring me! But it's also making me jealous. I've had crazy baby fever for a long time and seeing baby pictures blow up my newsfeed makes me sad. :/ I'm also not friends with my parents, even though I live on my own.
She was describing the feces on her sheets. It's oversharing at its finest. That's something to share on a mom forum or something or between close friends, not for everyone on facebook to see.

As far as the miscarried baby, it's not that I wasn't sympathetic. It's that she talked about it all the time when it happened many years ago. That's a very personal thing. If a person can't stop talking about it, it would be wise to journal or see a therapist. There's only so much comfort that your facebook friends can offer after years of those kinds of posts and after a while they're going to stop trying. It is ok to think/talk about these things, but talking about them all the time is not going to help you move on and will get in the way of you living your life.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by LadyKaiko »

@wanderlust: Ohhh, I understand now. Honestly at first I thought you were being unsymapthetic but I see that's not the case now. Lol. I still don't see the problem with the poop story but everyone is different.
@TaylorKnows: Wow. Really? Reminds me of when my now ex best friend and I were talking in a photo album of mine and he was cussing like a sailor. I didn't care but an adult friend from church did and she chewed him out. Then my friend cussed her out and basically told her to fuck off. It was priceless. XD

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by HattieChaos »

I literally never update my Facebook, unless I have something I really really want to say and I get that feeling maybe once every six months. I fucking hate Facebook, and only ever go on it because I've left school and would like to see what people I know are up to. Also because two of my friends I can only contact through Facebook chat. I'll also be leaving the country soon and intend to make a second Facebook for my new life and friends there which will be a Facebook I intend on actually posting more often on, because I will only accept people I actually like and feel comfortable talking about my life with. Even so, I don't intend to actually talk about things I deem very personal.

I believe some people go overboard with what they put on their Facebook. There is a 13 year old girl on mine who openly discusses her experience of rape, to the point where it feels like she is bragging about it. She uses it as an excuse to say she is an adult and experienced in life. She answers ask.fm questions about it and likes to point out little details and tease people about it. There's even talk of it being a big flat out lie and as a victim myself, I wouldn't be surprised. Her behaviour screams attention seeking and almost treats rape like a joke. It isn't something to put up for 900+ people to see, and especially when you chose not to press charges yet insist so heavily on implying who it was (she keeps putting little hints in her ask.fm answers and statuses about who it was - again to try and tease people). I chose not to press charges on my rapist, but whenever I decide to speak about it, it isn't in that sort of context and I never share his name unless I'm speaking to someone privately about it. If you choose not to press charges, it's going to look really bad if you choose to spread his name around or strongly imply who he is around town and ESPECIALLY on such a public platform. That's just ASKING to be called a liar and ASKING for trouble to be caused. Rapist is a big word to throw at someone in public if you don't intend to carry out the legal procedures.

There are some things you need to just flat out keep quiet about. I don't mean that rape victims and the like should keep hush hush, I just mean that in this context and especially when you chose not to take it to the courts - it is way inappropriate to put it on a fucking social networking website. Think of it as: "Would I be happy saying this into a microphone with all of these people physically present?" It's a matter of class and in some cases respect, and some people don't seem to fucking have any. It is stuff like this - the brats and the attention seeking and the over-sharing - that have made Facebook one of the worst sites to be on today.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by hollaatmegurl »

Oh god I fucking hate when people air all their dirty laundry on facebook. I mean, on tumblr or something, whatever because it's a blog, and while people may still not like it, it's a little more personal.

Facebook, though, you have people you went to school with, worked with, family members, etc etc, and NO ONE CARES ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT. Or when people update constantly what they're doing. "Making a sandwich MMMMM YUMMY going for a walk I HEART EXERCISE lol taking a poop I LOVE BOWEL MOVEMENTS XOXO *insert mirror picture here*". I mean, if you bitch about your boyfriend/girlfriend/family, it's not just the poster who's going to see it. I mean come ON DUDE IF YOU NEED TO VENT ABOUT STUFF DO IT ON BLOGGER OR TUMBLR OR SOMETHING YOU FEEL ME

I hardly go on facebook as it is and when I do go on I barely read any status updates anymore because it's just so irritating.
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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by catcherintherye »

wanderlust wrote:^just adding on to the unnecessary post thing...one woman posted pictures of her swollen pregnancy feet and then later on her baby with a full diaper and a story about the mess it made on the bed. Really?
Ewww! Someone I know is pregnant with twins and boy! The posts don't stop pouring in. Endless pictures of ultrasounds and posts about nausea. Come on! You are not the first person in the world to get pregnant. What a whiner. Unsubscribed from her updates the other day. Can't delete because she is family. She dyes her hair every other day and posts a picture in the same pose. Cropped at the cleavage because she is fat as Fuck! I also hate people who make old pictures their
file photos to get more likes and attention. Fb has become all about seeking attention and portraying this perfect image of your far from perfect life.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by catcherintherye »

I meant set old photos as their profile photos

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by wanderlust »

catcherintherye wrote:Fb has become all about seeking attention and portraying this perfect image of your far from perfect life.
I've definitely felt pressure in the past to always make happy statuses but then I realized how annoying it is when everyone is always trying to sound happy and like they have so much going on. Now, I mostly just make neutral statuses with occasional excited/happy ones and I know it probably makes me sound like a downer on there, but it's who I am. It has to be awfully depressing always trying to make one's life seem perfect.

On another note completely and a morbid one at that, if I ever experience the death of a close family member (knock on wood) while I still have my facebook, I would get on not too long after and deactivate my page once I got ahold of myself. I wouldn't be able to handle the "they're in a better place" nonsense and forced facebook sympathy that would likely follow. Or maybe no one would say anything. I'm not sure. I just know I wouldn't be able to handle facebook once I did eventually get on it. I'd be reminded of just how unimportant and stupid it is. This isn't to say I'd be logging onto facebook right after someone died of course. I just mean whenever I would get around to checking it again. Fb would be the last thing I'd care about.

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Re: How much should be put on Facebook?

Post by catcherintherye »

LadyKaiko wrote:@wanderlust: I don't see what's wrong with the messy diaper story. I would like to know about if it's funny if I were her friend. I also don't see what's wrong with talking about a miscarried baby. She lost a baby..
On another note, a lot of my friends are pregnant or have a baby. These girls are my age or younger and it's scaring me! But it's also making me jealous. I've had crazy baby fever for a long time and seeing baby pictures blow up my newsfeed makes me sad. :/ I'm also not friends with my parents, even though I live on my own.
I would never talk about a miscarried baby on FB. It is very very personal to me. You obviously feel differently but for the majority of us it is too much information. To vent about an issue like this I would write a journal or post on GGs vent column because it is anonymous. I hate revealing my weaknesses on Facebook. I hate to write sad whiny bitchy things on Facebook.

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