How to end a toxic friendship?

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How to end a toxic friendship?

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I don't have a lot of friends, just a few, there's a guy in particular whom I talk to everyday, the problem is this friendship is getting toxic because of him & it's stressing me out, I really want to end it but I don't know how w/o hurting his feelings. :(

1- He extensively discusses his troubles/problems with me & asks for advice like any friend would but the weird part is he always disagrees with the advice I give, belittles me sometimes & later goes on to do the EXACT same thing I told him to, when I confront him he says the idea I gave was coincidentally his mum/dad's idea too & that's the reason he followed thru & most of the times he doesn't have a response which drives me nuts. :?

2- I have no feelings for this guy neither does he but this dude tells me that he befriends multiple girls on Facebook, meets them & hooks up with them. He then screenshots their text conversations showing them in a negative light & sends it to me wailing & complaining how desperate they are to meet/talk to him, when I tell him to block them as he's so annoyed, he refuses. :? This behavior is disgusting, but to him it's somehow normal. He also constantly asks me to send him photos of myself, like everyday & I don't obviously so he gets mad. Lol?

3- He always flaunts his non existent money. He keeps harping on how he's super rich, has a penthouse, a Mercedes & has given several of his friends hundreds & thousands of $ w/o expecting it back. :| One day he'll say he gave $1000 to one friend, then $5000 to another, yada yada. Yet in reality he sleeps on his couch, has a run down bike, recently bought an old second hand car & travels by trains. :roll:

A lot of other minor habits about him annoy me. I just really need to end this as confronting him won't work as this is basically his nature, but I don't understand how. I would just block him from everywhere but it doesn't seem that easy. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

Post by Effys »

It sounds like he doesn't really have a mind of his own. He probably is too self-righteous to agree that the advice was yours so he made up an excuse for it. As for the girls he meets, he sounds narcissistic. Like he's trying to impress you whilst convincing himself that he's a player. The funny thing about screenshots is you can remove what you don't want people to see. He could have been saying some things to these girls to lead them on but deleted his portion of the conversations. Don't send him photos of yourself either, he could do to you what he;s doing to all of those other girls.

From what you've told (pardon my bluntness), he sounds like a pathologically lying loser. I would drop him as a friend immediately. You can do it whichever way you find easiest but just be careful because he seems like he could be hot-tempered. You wouldn't want to become his next victim. Just take some space and slowly let the friendship simmer away into nothingness.

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

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Effys wrote:It sounds like he doesn't really have a mind of his own. He probably is too self-righteous to agree that the advice was yours so he made up an excuse for it. As for the girls he meets, he sounds narcissistic. Like he's trying to impress you whilst convincing himself that he's a player. The funny thing about screenshots is you can remove what you don't want people to see. He could have been saying some things to these girls to lead them on but deleted his portion of the conversations. Don't send him photos of yourself either, he could do to you what he;s doing to all of those other girls.

From what you've told (pardon my bluntness), he sounds like a pathologically lying loser. I would drop him as a friend immediately. You can do it whichever way you find easiest but just be careful because he seems like he could be hot-tempered. You wouldn't want to become his next victim. Just take some space and slowly let the friendship simmer away into nothingness.
Thank you so much for the reply, you hit the nail on the head :tu: he does in fact seem like a pathological liar & a loser. I am ignoring him since the past 5 days & hoping this friendship dies down soon.

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

Post by sweetdreams4321 »

Wow, he seem's so needy and it sounds like he is living in a fantasy world. It must be so emotionally draining being friends with him! I hate to say it but It doesn't sound like he would be as good a friend to you as you are to him. I have invested too much time and energy into people like him that wouldn't do the same for me. You are doing the right thing by cutting him out of your life, I know it isn't as easy as blocking and deleting him from all social media etc. Oh boy, I wish it was! Continue to ignore him, Hopefully it will die down completely soon. :love2:

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

Post by smars27 »

YouslessTube wrote:I don't have a lot of friends, just a few, there's a guy in particular whom I talk to everyday, the problem is this friendship is getting toxic because of him & it's stressing me out, I really want to end it but I don't know how w/o hurting his feelings. :(

1- He extensively discusses his troubles/problems with me & asks for advice like any friend would but the weird part is he always disagrees with the advice I give, belittles me sometimes & later goes on to do the EXACT same thing I told him to, when I confront him he says the idea I gave was coincidentally his mum/dad's idea too & that's the reason he followed thru & most of the times he doesn't have a response which drives me nuts. :?

2- I have no feelings for this guy neither does he but this dude tells me that he befriends multiple girls on Facebook, meets them & hooks up with them. He then screenshots their text conversations showing them in a negative light & sends it to me wailing & complaining how desperate they are to meet/talk to him, when I tell him to block them as he's so annoyed, he refuses. :? This behavior is disgusting, but to him it's somehow normal. He also constantly asks me to send him photos of myself, like everyday & I don't obviously so he gets mad. Lol?

3- He always flaunts his non existent money. He keeps harping on how he's super rich, has a penthouse, a Mercedes & has given several of his friends hundreds & thousands of $ w/o expecting it back. :| One day he'll say he gave $1000 to one friend, then $5000 to another, yada yada. Yet in reality he sleeps on his couch, has a run down bike, recently bought an old second hand car & travels by trains. :roll:

A lot of other minor habits about him annoy me. I just really need to end this as confronting him won't work as this is basically his nature, but I don't understand how. I would just block him from everywhere but it doesn't seem that easy. Any advice would be appreciated.
3 options for getting toxic friends that work depending on how confrontational you can be.

This has worked really well for me even though I know it's the cowards way:

1. The slow ghost. Just spend less and less time with him/be busy and be uninterested in anything he says because you heard it all before. Just make him feel like what he's saying isn't important. If you have to even have a reaction just raise an eyebrow. Get busier with other things/other ppl so you don't have to be around him. That being said there is one girl I've tried slow ghosting 3 times and she won't let go but if she wants to be friends that much...it's hard for me to not take pity and just keep it going because I don't have that many other friends I hang out with (until I decide to take the time to find some new ones...but that's work and I'm older so it's harder to meet new ppl).

I'd have to say it sucks when you don't want to hurt/reject somebody outright but sometimes you need to bring in the big guns. If that doesn't get rid of him you can try these two other plans (I've only done this when I've been really annoyed/angry at the person and they didn't take it well but they stopped speaking to me so whatever)

I feel like I'm pretty non-confrontational but I like f**ing with people sometimes..depending on who it is but I mainly actually enjoy doing that with people I like so I don't get vindictive until someone pisses me off enough. Certain people are draining and toxic that sometimes you need to do what's best for yourself or you're just going to dread everyday life or times you have to spend with this person.

Plan B: Call him out on his b.s or embarrass him somehow by asking to borrow/get some of that money or tell everyone about how he's such a player and has sooo much money and should get with him but be warned that's he sooo whatever. Maybe he does like you or something and thinks he's impressing you or he needs to be a hot-shot to so I don't really recommend this one.

Plan C: Annoy him enough to unfriend you by making fun of everything he does/says or try and top his stories b.s and talk about all the hot men you are getting who are so whatever. Or become so much of a raging feminist telling him how he should treat women that he thinks your not cool anymore or talk about all the qualities you love in a guy and make sure he's not any of thee things.

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

Post by YouslessTube »

smars27 wrote:
YouslessTube wrote:I don't have a lot of friends, just a few, there's a guy in particular whom I talk to everyday, the problem is this friendship is getting toxic because of him & it's stressing me out, I really want to end it but I don't know how w/o hurting his feelings. :(

1- He extensively discusses his troubles/problems with me & asks for advice like any friend would but the weird part is he always disagrees with the advice I give, belittles me sometimes & later goes on to do the EXACT same thing I told him to, when I confront him he says the idea I gave was coincidentally his mum/dad's idea too & that's the reason he followed thru & most of the times he doesn't have a response which drives me nuts. :?

2- I have no feelings for this guy neither does he but this dude tells me that he befriends multiple girls on Facebook, meets them & hooks up with them. He then screenshots their text conversations showing them in a negative light & sends it to me wailing & complaining how desperate they are to meet/talk to him, when I tell him to block them as he's so annoyed, he refuses. :? This behavior is disgusting, but to him it's somehow normal. He also constantly asks me to send him photos of myself, like everyday & I don't obviously so he gets mad. Lol?

3- He always flaunts his non existent money. He keeps harping on how he's super rich, has a penthouse, a Mercedes & has given several of his friends hundreds & thousands of $ w/o expecting it back. :| One day he'll say he gave $1000 to one friend, then $5000 to another, yada yada. Yet in reality he sleeps on his couch, has a run down bike, recently bought an old second hand car & travels by trains. :roll:

A lot of other minor habits about him annoy me. I just really need to end this as confronting him won't work as this is basically his nature, but I don't understand how. I would just block him from everywhere but it doesn't seem that easy. Any advice would be appreciated.
3 options for getting toxic friends that work depending on how confrontational you can be.

This has worked really well for me even though I know it's the cowards way:

1. The slow ghost. Just spend less and less time with him/be busy and be uninterested in anything he says because you heard it all before. Just make him feel like what he's saying isn't important. If you have to even have a reaction just raise an eyebrow. Get busier with other things/other ppl so you don't have to be around him. That being said there is one girl I've tried slow ghosting 3 times and she won't let go but if she wants to be friends that much...it's hard for me to not take pity and just keep it going because I don't have that many other friends I hang out with (until I decide to take the time to find some new ones...but that's work and I'm older so it's harder to meet new ppl).

I'd have to say it sucks when you don't want to hurt/reject somebody outright but sometimes you need to bring in the big guns. If that doesn't get rid of him you can try these two other plans (I've only done this when I've been really annoyed/angry at the person and they didn't take it well but they stopped speaking to me so whatever)

I feel like I'm pretty non-confrontational but I like f**ing with people sometimes..depending on who it is but I mainly actually enjoy doing that with people I like so I don't get vindictive until someone pisses me off enough. Certain people are draining and toxic that sometimes you need to do what's best for yourself or you're just going to dread everyday life or times you have to spend with this person.

Plan B: Call him out on his b.s or embarrass him somehow by asking to borrow/get some of that money or tell everyone about how he's such a player and has sooo much money and should get with him but be warned that's he sooo whatever. Maybe he does like you or something and thinks he's impressing you or he needs to be a hot-shot to so I don't really recommend this one.

Plan C: Annoy him enough to unfriend you by making fun of everything he does/says or try and top his stories b.s and talk about all the hot men you are getting who are so whatever. Or become so much of a raging feminist telling him how he should treat women that he thinks your not cool anymore or talk about all the qualities you love in a guy and make sure he's not any of thee things.
Thank you so much :)
You're on point about all the 3 points. I am currently trying the slow ghost method on him :ninja: and thankfully he hasn't bothered me with calls or texts since Wednesday. :SS:

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Re: How to end a toxic friendship?

Post by YouslessTube »

sweetdreams4321 wrote:Wow, he seem's so needy and it sounds like he is living in a fantasy world. It must be so emotionally draining being friends with him! I hate to say it but It doesn't sound like he would be as good a friend to you as you are to him. I have invested too much time and energy into people like him that wouldn't do the same for me. You are doing the right thing by cutting him out of your life, I know it isn't as easy as blocking and deleting him from all social media etc. Oh boy, I wish it was! Continue to ignore him, Hopefully it will die down completely soon. :love2:
Thank you so much for the advice! :)
I am now starting to ignore him. :ninja:

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