loneliness & love

Post Reply
User avatar
Clemence
Debater
Debater
Posts: 220
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:50 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0
Contact:

loneliness & love

Post by Clemence »

Well, I am feeling more depressed than I usually am today (possibly because I am barely getting over my period...) so I just thought maybe letting my feelings/thoughts out on here would kind of help? I know I have come across as very religious and wanting to dedicate my life to God. But honestly...I have tried and truth is I am miserable. I just always told myself that I'd get used to being alone, but I just can't! I cannot even read books or watch movies/shows because anything that has any inch of romance in it gets me extremely jealous and bitter. I'm a fan of the show Grimm and last Friday I didn't even watch it because the couple Rosalee and Monroe make me jealous. I know it sounds stupid, but it's the truth.

I never had a boyfriend before (I've been on one date and that's because I asked him out...which didn't turn out good). I never held hands with a guy before. And I am just so sick of it. If some of you had read my posts then you know last year I had an online boyfriend from Iran (yes, I was/am that lonely). We met on some penpal website and I helped him with his English and overtime I developed feelings for him. I am not muslim or Iranian, but he didn't care. He seemed so sweet and wonderful, we planned to eventually meet in Turkey. But then he broke up with me because he got bored of me and I was so angry/miserable I harrassed him (insulting him, begging for him to love me) and he ended up blocking me everywhere. I was really in love with this guy...I spent like $500-$1000 on him buying him gifts and even payed for a Farsi class. He never even wrote me a letter...and he became so fustrated with me pretty much cyber stalking him he just told me to go and die which tore me apart.

I know...it was immature of me to harass him...but I was an emotional wreck. Honestly, I don't have a single friend. I live so far from the world I take online classes and have only one class at a community college twice a week. I'll be able to transfer to University and get a dorm....in Fall 2015. But that's so far away...and I am so miserable everyday alone.

I have tried talking to guys from my college (I did go on that one date) and some other guy asked me out but then stood me up. I just seem forever alone that I thought if I just thought of myself as dedicating myself to God then I wouldn't feel so lonely. But honestly, by telling myself that I am lying to myself. I want to a boyfriend, and if it was up to me I wish I would be already married. I just don't know what other to do than 'wait'. I just feel so depressed I even find any excuse to procrasinate on my homework.

I know some of you have told me to see a therapist because of my previous posts..but honestly, I can't afford. Do any of you know of ways to get motivated? Or even over the counter mood enhances? Loneliness, Depression, and laziness have taken over me litterally all I wanna do is lay in bed all day...and some days I do. Oh and one more thing...I don't have self-issues. I know some people say "You have to love yourself, before you get in a relationship" and I do love myself. I am not conceited, but I do think I am pretty. And I think I dress rather nice. Anyways...any advice guys?

User avatar
NotAZombie

Re: loneliness & love

Post by NotAZombie »

Perhaps you can try occupy yourself with some activities? Do you have one or few hobbies that you enjoy doing? Maybe sitting down and make something(writing, crafting, drawing, etc) or you might enjoy sports more? Whichever it is, fill your free time with whatever you enjoy doing or even learn something new, you can even set a target for it(e.g pass grade 8 in my piano class), apparently it works well whenever you have something to work on, good luck and I hope you will be feeling alright soon :)

Purpledrank89
Learner
Learner
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:07 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0
Contact:

Re: loneliness & love

Post by Purpledrank89 »

You need to get your mind on something else other than love. I know loneliness can be tough and we all get lonely but yours has caused you a few problems. You already said you're confident, and you love yourself and that is where it starts. Next stop saying you're going to be lonely, you're not. If you spend so much time thinking about how lonely you are instead of making yourself not so lonely you'll never get out of that slump. So like the other poster said time to occupy your mind with other things. Literally do stuff, when you feel that wave of lonely coming on you think of something else right away do not dwell on it. Now it will be hard but you will learn I used to get like that in high school and eventually learned to occupy my mind with other things, now don't get me wrong we all feel lonely at times but at times it shouldn't be all the time. Once you learn that you should be feeling better. If you want to meet guys then go out, talk to some, hell go online, online is full of creepers so be cautious and careful and use your head and be smart!!!. Now you said you don't have friends?, do you work? Because making friends is a one way ticket out of lonelyville and a few miles from love city...that was cheesy but I hope you get what Im saying.

EllieBaby
Lurker
Lurker
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:09 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0
Contact:

Re: loneliness & love

Post by EllieBaby »

I'm not trying to diagnose you but going just on what you said I'm making an educated guess that you are extremely depressed. People think that depression is just feeling down but it affects so may other aspects of your life. It can make you feel like you would feel better if you changed certain aspects of your life, for you it's having a boyfriend. You think finding someone to love is going to make you happy. Meeting someone and falling in love may boost your serotonin levels for awhile but once that honeymoon phase is over you are going to go back to feeling bad. It's not going to fix the problem it's only going to mask it, that's why so many people with mental illnesses self medicate with alcohol or other drugs. Your laziness is probably an effect of the depression. I would focus on getting some professional help. I know you said you can't afford but you also said you don't have anything going on in your life, use that free time to get a part time job and use that money to pay for treatment. If you have health insurance I would call the 1-800 on the back of the card and ask them for a referral to a counselor or psychiatrist. If you don't have health insurance contact your local state medical insurance office and hopefully they can point you in the right direction.
Good luck and if you need to talk let me know. I'm in nursing school and I'm specializing in mental health and psychiatric disorders.

Post Reply

Return to “Single Life”