Sarah "Benjamin Button" Hawkinson General Thread Part 2

[Swav]

I'm bored too. I didn't even bother to watch her new video today because I know it's just the same thing all the time. Her GRWMs I generally like because I just like hearing her answer questions and talk off the cuff, but she does the same look every time and spends half that time talking about not stepping out of her comfort zone and how long it's been since she wore a full face off makeup. She's doing a truth or drink video with JM soon though, so hopefully that'll be interesting.

[Nimue]

I must admit, I initially subscribed to her (and her other channels) because she discussed horror movies. But she hasn't posted one in a way, and I'm not really interested in the rest of her content, so that's a bit of a shame... I feel like she could do so much more with her channel...

[Guest]

I liked her fast fashion video though. I can appreciate that she owns up to her mistakes especially with the Zaful mini-drama on her channel. I remember she used to be a total shopping addict and had a ridiculous amount of makeup even though she always did the same looks. I think she's growing as a person at least in terms of her ethics if not in getting out of her comfort zone, and I think I'd probably really like her if I met her.

But I just think that maybe she's not going to be able to come up with a lot of interesting content for people...especially because the focus of her content changes so often. Then, she doesn't often go and do anything new to vlog about. And though I like her style, it's quite set and basic. It's great that she knows what she looks good in but she's not going to be able to showcase much variety. Kind of weird given that she seems to want to change what she talks about so often, but yet so quickly seems to run out of interesting content on whatever it is.

I too got into her videos because I love horror. Now she's not doing any of the things she was into when I found her. I'm not super into skincare, thrifting or anything like that. I'll probably stay subbed, but I find myself maybe watching one out of five of her videos, and her vlogs are always so samey. She does seem to be going an eco/minimalism/ethical route though and those things interest me, but I wonder how long until she gets bored and moves on to something else.

[SourBerry]

So her recent Twitter posts actually kinda concerned me. She's definitely self-diagnosing a mental illness or some sort of episode. I think it was depersonalization. She says she doesn't have health insurance and she has some physical symptoms. I don't live in a big area, and even we have urgent cares and free clinics that you can go to without insurance. And we also have places you can go that can work with your income for mental health. And doesn't she have that app where she talks to a psychiatrist? Girl is what - 27? 28? She needs to start figuring out some goal. She's been out of school almost 2 years and has done nothing.

[slody]

So her recent Twitter posts actually kinda concerned me. She's definitely self-diagnosing a mental illness or some sort of episode. I think it was depersonalization. She says she doesn't have health insurance and she has some physical symptoms. I don't live in a big area, and even we have urgent cares and free clinics that you can go to without insurance. And we also have places you can go that can work with your income for mental health. And doesn't she have that app where she talks to a psychiatrist? Girl is what - 27? 28? She needs to start figuring out some goal. She's been out of school almost 2 years and has done nothing.

Yeah, that's right, she said depersonalisation. I was going to mention what she said in one of her videos about self diagnosing and how people shouldn't do that. She replied to someone saying:

"I believe it to be dissociation because it all fits but self diagnosing isn’t always reliable or the greatest thing to do."

I unsubscribed a long time ago, so I've been out of the loop, I thought she wanted to work in a high school as a guidance counsellor??

[daydreamer]

^ that’s what she’s said, but she hasn’t made any real efforts to do so. I think her mental health is impacting her life and ability to achieve her goals more than we think

[treetown_squirrel]

^ that’s what she’s said, but she hasn’t made any real efforts to do so. I think her mental health is impacting her life and ability to achieve her goals more than we think

Yeah, I think some of the things she's warned against are exactly what her problem is. Self-diagnosing is dangerous and not productive anyway-- if it were as easy as knowing what the problem was no one would need therapy or medication. She's also made a lot of videos in the past about how internet culture/distasteful fashion can be triggering for people with mental health conditions. If I could give her any advice it would be to take a hint from herself and take a complete sabbatical from the internet for an extended period. Even a week.

I have a friend a LOT like Sarah and she got involved in some weird communities online that convinced her that her average issues at work were borderline abusive so she quit her job, moved back home with her parents, and is currently fighting for disability under the illusion that no workplace could ever properly accommodate her anxiety. It made me realize just how dangerous feedback loops can be online. And I think Sarah is caught in some "mental health community" feedback loops where it's totally fine to just stay in your comfortable box for the rest of your life. Self-diagnose, complain about not being able to get help, wallow-- and repeat.

[SourBerry]

And now she mentioned it in her most recent vlog. And that vlog really made it seem like she hardly does anything in her day. Picking up cat food and going to the grocery store for a hand full of things doesn't count. Or dropping stuff off at a secondhand store and going to two stores looking for Halloween stuff either. That's like maybe a couple of hours of a day.

And I swear she's mentioned that her horror channel will have a comeback for months now...

[Swav]

I'm not really sure why she even wants to vlog so much, considering she does so little during her days. She goes food shopping and sometimes thrifting, and 90% of her vlog is just her sitting in her car talking about what she needs to pick up/what she just bought. When she's editing, doesn't she realize how repetitive her vlogs are and how empty her life is? At least two, three years ago her vlogs were interesting because she went out with friends, did little photoshoots together made some short films, had movie nights, parties, etc. Now, the only person she has is Ryan, and we don't even see them interact in her vlogs. It makes me sad for her.

[treetown_squirrel]

I'm not really sure why she even wants to vlog so much, considering she does so little during her days. She goes food shopping and sometimes thrifting, and 90% of her vlog is just her sitting in her car talking about what she needs to pick up/what she just bought. When she's editing, doesn't she realize how repetitive her vlogs are and how empty her life is? At least two, three years ago her vlogs were interesting because she went out with friends, did little photoshoots together made some short films, had movie nights, parties, etc. Now, the only person she has is Ryan, and we don't even see them interact in her vlogs. It makes me sad for her.

I think it's purely for validation. She might not even realize it, but she really does seem to be seeking out an audience to tell her that not leaving the house is a-okay if you're just too depressed. And I get it, I really have been there, but you fix that by... forcing yourself to get out and be social.

[SourBerry]

I'm not really sure why she even wants to vlog so much, considering she does so little during her days. She goes food shopping and sometimes thrifting, and 90% of her vlog is just her sitting in her car talking about what she needs to pick up/what she just bought. When she's editing, doesn't she realize how repetitive her vlogs are and how empty her life is? At least two, three years ago her vlogs were interesting because she went out with friends, did little photoshoots together made some short films, had movie nights, parties, etc. Now, the only person she has is Ryan, and we don't even see them interact in her vlogs. It makes me sad for her.

I think it's purely for validation. She might not even realize it, but she really does seem to be seeking out an audience to tell her that not leaving the house is a-okay if you're just too depressed. And I get it, I really have been there, but you fix that by... forcing yourself to get out and be social.

Exactly. I noticed how much she needed validation for her videos/actions/etc when she kept posting negative comments left on her videos on Twitter. There's always going to be negative with posting stuff on YouTube. Also, her "rant" video on self-care she just got dragged in the comments section because she honestly sounded very judgmental and hypocritical. I know she has recognized this about herself, but actually posting a video basically saying that what certain people do for self-care is wrong is a new level. On top of that, she went to whine about it on Twitter. She got validation there that her video was "good".

[SourBerry]

So I had to say something in regards to her five million Shane Dawson tweets. She mentions or RTs something about not self-diagnosing. This girl self-diagnoses on a monthly basis. Two, I understand she went to school for psychology but she's been out of school for like 2 years (maybe 3, can't remember). And she didn't even go past a B.A. or get a B.S. Third, if you have such an issue with it, THEN SEND SOMETHING TO SHANE. He follows her, so just DM.

Also, she even said that she hinted that sociopaths are violent in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSWG1DbMI0M. So maybe just send him this video? It does seem like he wants to be educated about it. So maybe help him instead of ranting and raving without actually @-ing him. Just saying.

[jetfire021]

I hate to say it but the beginning of the Gerard way tutorial and the thumbnail for that video give me secondhand embarrassment

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[Swav]

Pretty disappointed in Sarah for changing tunes and easing up on her criticism of Shane Dawson's new series so quickly the minute he gives her a little bit of attention. Anyone else following all this Shane/sociopathy drama?

[Trees]

Pretty disappointed in Sarah for changing tunes and easing up on her criticism of Shane Dawson's new series so quickly the minute he gives her a little bit of attention. Anyone else following all this Shane/sociopathy drama?

There's a lot of layers to it, most people are just irritated because he tried to present sociopathy as a scary movie trope and really sensationalized it, and Kati Morton who is the therapist he interviewed was really unprofessional and followed his lead on presenting it that way when she should have known better. But the more serious aspect of it is the suspicion that the whole series is just an excuse to advertise Better Help. Kati Morton is the co founder, and that organization has some quality issues, a lot of people have complained about unprofessionalism and overcharging, plus they take no responsability for what any of their therapists do. There is also the suspicion that they might be selling confidential info to marketing firms. It's a shit show and Shane's series is what prompted people to investigate and uncover a lot of information about it.

Sarah is probably just babbling about the first thing though, she never researches anything properly and just jumps on bandwagons.

[treetown_squirrel]

Pretty disappointed in Sarah for changing tunes and easing up on her criticism of Shane Dawson's new series so quickly the minute he gives her a little bit of attention. Anyone else following all this Shane/sociopathy drama?

...

Sarah is probably just babbling about the first thing though, she never researches anything properly and just jumps on bandwagons.

I had no idea about the Better Help controversy so I highly doubt Sarah does, ha. My take as an "old lady" about to turn 30-- all of these videos are reckless and also somehow pointless. My younger sister is more thoroughly ensconced in all the drama and finds it all fascinating but as an outsider to both the Pauls and Shane I've found the videos kind of boring (and I liked the Jeffree Star series). Good for Shane for following the money though, I guess? The only way the series could end that might be remotely interesting is if we find out Jake went to a therapist and was actually diagnosed as a sociopath.

[feelingfamiliar]

I have a few thoughts.

First of all, I've taken plenty of psych courses in university. Do I consider myself an expert? No. It takes far more than a bachelors in psych to fully understand all the nuances.

Secondly, psychology is still a developing science. There is hardly any black and white in this field except for extreme cases. There is still so much more that we need to learn about the brain and psychology before we can say anything concrete. For example, the DSM, is constantly changing. Psychopath is no longer a diagnoses and earlier homosexuality was included as well. It's constantly changing as society and research is developing.

And lastly, I think that her videos on "offensive merch" or what the f ever is ridiculous. I have multiple diagnoses yet I still love wearing "cute but psycho" shirt. I hate the special snowflake syndrome she has. And she acts like she has terrible anxiety to justify her viewpoints but that's just not how it works.

[Trees]

I used to like Sarah but her psych videos turned me off her. It's like she refuses to mature professionally, and in other aspects of her life. Every time she talks about psychology she sounds like the stereotypical college freshman that wants to go into it because it's so "deep" and "interesting", she thinks the field of psychology is just about mental illness and traditional psychotherapy, when it is so much broader than that. With how much she talks about wanting to be a school counselor, I'm surprised she doesn't seem to be interested in behavorial issues and learning disabilities. In fact, most of her videos are about personality disorders or serious mental issues that can be only diagnosed in adults. Her whole career is just so weird, she has no direction or a perception of reality.

I think she likes the idea of being a clinician, but doesn't actually want to do the work. She is definitely not cut out for it, everytime her retail/ fashion jobs get a little complicated, she quits. When she reads about a mental illness she automatically thinks she has it. She would be an absolute disaster, can't deal with her own problems. How will she help somebody else? I wonder if she even graduated, she tweeted about it but never posted a picture or anything else. In her vlogs she used to talk about not going to class for one reason or the other A LOT. And she never mentioned completing any sort of practicum, which a lot of universities require to graduate. However, I don't know for sure and we should give her the benefit of the doubt. What I do know however is that she has been out of school for two years, in that time she could have gotten an M.A., which would qualify her to be a counselour like she says she wants to be. An M.A. is shorter and more practical than an MSC and if she really wanted it as her career it would have been possible for her to have it by now, but I don't think she will ever get one because she just likes the image and not the work that it takes to be a mental health professional.

Sorry for the rant, I just find her so annoying, but wish she would get her life together because it's sad to see someone bounce around and get progressively worse.

[treetown_squirrel]

...

Sorry for the rant, I just find her so annoying, but wish she would get her life together because it's sad to see someone bounce around and get progressively worse.

So I just had this article recommended to me. You really get the gist of the whole article from the headline but I thought of Sarah immediately: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/ob ... -disorder/

[Shadowraven]

Hey everyone first post here! I used to really like Sarah maybe like 2 years ago but I had to stop watching her videos because she just got so annoying. I recently tried giving her channel another chance and I honestly just can’t. She’s so fake and just jumps on any bandwagon that is trendy at the moment. I remember when she was blonde she would go on and on about how she was so feminine then suddenly she became gender fluid? I almost find that insulting to gender fluid and trans people. She just has so many issues and I don’t get past it. I’m at a point that I wish she would get off of YouTube because just looking at her makes me cringe.