My love broke up with me. I don't know what to do.

[bubbledre4m]

I'm writing this because I just want to get it all out of my head. Yesterday my boyfriend (we'd been going out for 18 months and lived together since September) broke up with me and I'm so devastatingly broken I don't know what to do with myself. I honestly thought he was The One, my soulmate, and he felt the same. He was head over heels for me and we were such a strong couple, everyone said it. I loved my life with him, our little inside jokes and nicknames and weird things and kitchen dances. And now it's all crumbled and I don't know what to do.

We were at our mutual friends wedding yesterday and he got really drunk, I've never seen him so drunk before. He bought me 2 drinks even though I said I'd had enough and didn't want any to drink. He seemed to take this as me telling him he had to leave too even though he wanted to stay, and I was oblivious until we got home and he told me he's fed up, it's over, that I'm not the One and he isn't my One even though it was so perfect and he loves me so much. He said I should be with someone who deserves me and won't get angry at me. I begged and begged for him to give it another shot and he told me to leave. I called my mum at 4am (she lives 2 hours away) and because I was so upset she immediately drove to get me. Before I left I said goodbye and he hugged and kissed me in bed and called me sweetie and said he loves me, and said for me he'd reconsider tomorrow (which is now today).

I texted saying how sorry I was because I can be controlling sometimes without realising - that's what the build up to this was - and he said 'we'll arrange when you can come get the rest of your stuff'. I asked was there a chance he'd reconsider and he said no, and that we can't make it work or give it another shot or it'll just be dragging out the pain. We're both now in our individual family homes and I haven't stopped sobbing all day. I dread to think of getting all my stuff, thinking of all our memories and the lovely things we had together. I still have a glimmer of hope he'll realise this was a blip and give it another try. Yesterday he was talking about our wedding and talking about proposing to me and now today it's broken.

I guess now I just don't know what to do because we were both in the same college 2 hours from my family home, I still owe rent and if I leave my course now (my exams are in 2 weeks) I won't be able to do another course as I won't get a student grant for it. I feel like my entire life has crumbled into pieces and I have no idea what to do. If anyone has a similar experience and got through it please tell me. I feel like I never want to find anyone else and if I do it'll never be like mine and his relationship was.

[Pastel]

This sounds a lot like the situation with my ex. He broke up with me out of nowhere right before my final BA exams, and he kept going back and forth on it too, telling me that he was reconsidering and then sticking with the breakup anyway. I was such a mess because I kept hoping we'd get back together, and that really wasn't helpful to my situation at all. I really needed to stop holding on to that hope and move on.

What I did was throw myself 100% into school. I was determined not to let him ruin my degree as well, and it was nice to have something else to focus on instead of just trying to get him back constantly. We were still talking at this time, but after a while I stopped replying to his texts because I realized it was only holding me back. I think it took me about a month to get over him after I made that decision.

Obviously my coping skills might not work for you, but I thought I'd share anyway, because it does get better

[lauzzykitten]

I'm going through something very similar right now and wanted to reply just to give you some comfort. We was together 2 and a half years (but long distance) and he broke up with me last week. I cry every night. Like you I could be very controlling and jealous, to the point where I was uncomfortable with him spending time with anyone else (distance is so hard on me). He was miserable because of it, and the amount of time we spoke gradually diminished (I thought he was 'working' but now I think it's because he tried to gradually cut me off) after the last time he told me I was too controlling and he couldn't bare it. I understand it's my fault. He didn't tell me it was over, he completely blocked me on everything. It crushed me. I guess he did this because he was scared of how I'd react, idk. My advice is to talk to friends and family, cry and be angry and upset- completely let your emotions out. Remove anything that reminds you of him. Distract yourself with something fun that you like to do.

He was my soulmate like you. I feel like I'll never ever find someone so kind and sweet like him, someone who has our little inside jokes and who I can tell everything and anything to. I just pray me and you can get through this. Much love