In-Law Drama

[makeuplovr73]

Okay, so I'm going to try to make a long story short here. My husband and I met a year ago - he was with his girlfriend of 6 years at the time ( he had been wanting out of that relationship for four years) and he broke up with her two days after he met me. We were love at first sight, and married in October of this year ( 9 months later). My in-laws have LOATHED me from the second we started dating, because my husband and his ex lived in a house with them from the start of their relationship. They still hangout with his ex and tell her they love her, and they have me blocked on all social media platforms as of two months ago. They blocked me because his mom posted a picture of my husband and his ex kissing on facebook under an album called "family", and I'm the wicked daughter in law of the west because I had a problem with that. So my husband and I haven't had any contact with them since because they refuse to admit they did wrong. Also, when I say in - laws I am referring to his sister, two brothers, and his mom. His dad has been really welcoming of me. So I guess the point in posting this, is me asking for advice on the situation. Am I in the wrong? How do I make amends with all of them so we can be a happy family? Because at this point it is really putting a strain on my marriage.

[cutelilbunny123]

i think you eventually need to bite the dust and swallow whatever pride you have to make amends. it'll be hard because you are not in the wrong at all, their behaviour towards you has been so spiteful and totally immature BUT that is the reason why you must be the mature one and keep your head held high!
i think you should all have a 'family' sit down around the dining table and hash it out (everyone should be there.)
get your point across, apologise for any issues you may have caused (to keep them happy lol) and ask for a civil relationship for the sake of everyone's sanity and your own marriage. coming between your husband and his family, especially his mother, will backfire at some point, and i would hate to see his family's behaviour towards put a strain on your marriage
i hope i made sense and i helped out a bit... and good luck! xxx

[artemist]

I agree with the above. I don't think that what they did was acceptable, however this woman was a part of their family for six years and then suddenly isn't any more seemingly out of the blue when their son/brother meets a new woman and two days later breaks the family up. That's got to be difficult to adjust to and they're bound to feel a degree of resentment towards you for it.

All I can really advise is to give it time and to try and make amends. Your husband and you having no contact with them will only damage things further. They will see you as the wicked woman who stole their son away to the point that they now no longer have any contact with him. It sucks and it's unfair af, but for your husbands sake I'd try to get in touch and make peace with them. Accept that they may never like you. Try to be mature, friendly and kill those fxxkers with kindness til they HAVE to accept you. It'll make your and your husbands lives so much easier.

[viridian]

I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I do not believe you are in the wrong, you can't help that you met him and fell in love. I understand they felt like they lost a member of their family, but the truth is she isn't family - their son is, and now you are. Your husband should support you in this as well, and should be the one to reach out to his family and explain how you both are feeling. I do hope they come around at some point because that's no way to treat family.

[verybritney]

I partially agree with the above, what I will say is that YOUR HUSBAND needs to be the one to speak to HIS family. This is his family and he needs to put them in check, it shouldn't have gone that far. His family will respect him before they respect you. Best of luck, I'm rooting for you and your peace of mind!

[makeuplovr73]

Thank you guys for all the advice!! Kinda bummed out because even my brother in law’s wife is still obsessed with my husband’s ex.... I feel like I’ll never win

[SausageNoodle]

Wow, what a bunch of bstarreds. I agree with Very Britney, your husband should be the one to deal with his family and fight your corner.

[makeuplovr73]

I partially agree with the above, what I will say is that YOUR HUSBAND needs to be the one to speak to HIS family. This is his family and he needs to put them in check, it shouldn't have gone that far. His family will respect him before they respect you. Best of luck, I'm rooting for you and your peace of mind!

I agree with you, he actually has told them many times they need to cut the shit. He has gotten enraged with them, we've sat down and talked to them, nothing works. They say his ex was family and always will be...

[Maria-Janet726]

[makeuplovr73]

Yeah, I know

[makeuplovr73]

Anybody have any more advice? Anyone lived through this crap before? The situation has gotten worse since I posted this

[Cheeseandpickles]

At this point, they're picking the ex-GF over their own son. I don't think there is anything either of you can do to change the situation. If he's sat down and talked with them and they're like too bad she's family - they've made their choice. Now it's up to your husband what he will do - go back to his family and let them treat him like shit or say enough is enough and be done. You can't change their choice you can only make choices based on the situation now. I don't think to fall on your sword and taking all the blame will even help. You both have betrayed them and the ex-GF in their eyes.

If his parents are willing to pick someone else over their own child then I think their issues are bigger than either of you can fix.

You may want to seek support from groups where other adult children have cut off toxic family. When I got married my mother didn't speak to me for over two years and has yet to meet my husband or children as a result. I finally had to get to the point with them where I know I cannot change their ideas and I cannot make them love me [as their child] and your husband might one day have to come to terms with that as well. It can be a hard pill to swallow because abusive people will tell you this is love while they treat you badly and act as if you should accept this "love".

If it wasn't you eventually he would have done something else they couldn't control and he'd be in the same place.