The Official Schuerman Glossary!

[FatalFlaw]

Shartbag: gigantic brown greasy couch-like piece of furniture. Formerly known as the "fartbag," until Jay overtrusted a fart and actually shit himself.

see also: Splenda, side effects and Explosive Diarrhea

[Mrs. Realistic]

Plastic Palace AKA Swiss Cheese Palace: The Schuerman's plastic covered double wide trailer full of hail damage because they use the insurance checks on shopping sprees & squatcations.

Squatcation: When the Schuerman's up & go on a vacation/trip to impose on friends, family & strangers with little to no notice and eat all their food and take over their homes for weeks. They refuse to stay at a hotel unless it's free.

[AuntBee]

Snuggle Time / Mommy Time - The we-don't-know-how-many-times-per-day that Scam's 2 and 3 year olds latch on to her breasts and suck until they feel better and/or are full of her magical boob juice.

[AuntBee]

Magical Boob Juice - Scam's breast milk which she claims will cure everything from chapped lips to diaper rash to psoriasis.

[SpringDuck]

What, she actually said that about her breast milk? I am very disturbed

[bump]

Good god, this is funny. I won't post anything besides this post because I'm brand new to this hellacious hellhole of a family, but I HAD to say thank you for everyone who's added to this (I know it's not for me, but I'm saying thank you from everyone who reads this). This is some genius shit right here!!

[aberkitten]

Totally off topic, but this is HILARIOUS!!! I'm DYING!!!!

[Mrs. Realistic]

Bralette: What Sam wears to hold her gigantic saggy milk bags. She thinks it's cute to show her neon bralette straps with every outfit.

Nannys Apple Crumble: When prepared by Sam translates to unseasoned mush.

Makeup Tutorial: Painting your face, ears, chest & breasts orange. Following a pattern of Orange, white,orange & white.
Example: Orange foundation, white concealer over most of the Orange foundation, orange bronzer followed by white highlight.

[Indilwen]

Okay, since I was reminded by my lovely friend about this thread, I'll add:

"grapes" another word for pot

smoking grapes...self explanatory

[Indilwen]

And I'm sorry I'm so behind today. I was in the hospital since Monday night until yesterday, and today was the first chance I've had to read and comment. And I had forgotten this thread and how dang funny it is!

[bump]

Shartbag: gigantic brown greasy couch-like piece of furniture. Formerly known as the "fartbag," until Jay overtrusted a fart and actually shit himself.

see also: Splenda, side effects and Explosive Diarrhea

Oh god, did he really?!?

[Desert Wind]

Shartbag: gigantic brown greasy couch-like piece of furniture. Formerly known as the "fartbag," until Jay overtrusted a fart and actually shit himself.

see also: Splenda, side effects and Explosive Diarrhea

Oh god, did he really?!?

According to Princess (See also: Phoenix, Child of the Corn) yes, Jobless shat himself while enjoying a particularly juicy fart session. Phoenix has a big mouth, that little scamp has ratted his folks out on several things, recently.

[Pyramid11]

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[candyfluff]

This thread is Delightful! I can't stop laughing!

[glowstar]

Okay, since I was reminded by my lovely friend about this thread, I'll add:

"grapes" another word for pot

smoking grapes...self explanatory

They smoke pot?! That actually explains quite a bit...

[Desert Wind]

Okay, since I was reminded by my lovely friend about this thread, I'll add:

"grapes" another word for pot

smoking grapes...self explanatory

They smoke pot?! That actually explains quite a bit...

Jobless, especially. Allegedly.

Not making accusations, here as that is not kosher, buuuut... Let's say I've been around enough people who enjoy a little of the ganja and Jobless raises red flags. *nods wisely*

[glowstar]

Okay, since I was reminded by my lovely friend about this thread, I'll add:

"grapes" another word for pot

smoking grapes...self explanatory

They smoke pot?! That actually explains quite a bit...

Jobless, especially. Allegedly.

Not making accusations, here as that is not kosher, buuuut... Let's say I've been around enough people who enjoy a little of the ganja and Jobless raises red flags. *nods wisely*

It would explain a lot. Including his ability to tolerate laying around all day. Perhaps that's why his eyes are red and glassy sometimes too.

[deville]

Adding:

X = Phoenix, cause that's what mommy taught him to write instead of his actual initial or name.
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Because she probably can't spell it either.

[Trasay88]

Shartbag: gigantic brown greasy couch-like piece of furniture. Formerly known as the "fartbag," until Jay overtrusted a fart and actually shit himself.

see also: Splenda, side effects and Explosive Diarrhea

Oh god, did he really?!?

According to Princess (See also: Phoenix, Child of the Corn) yes, Jobless shat himself while enjoying a particularly juicy fart session. Phoenix has a big mouth, that little scamp has ratted his folks out on several things, recently.

What has Phoenix ratted them out on? Curious newbie right here!

[curlymopptopp]

I made a GG account specifically because everyone forgot the most annoying one of all!!

"good" - Adjective used incorrectly to replace WELL
Examples used in SHam's daily vocabulary from the moment they wake up to the second they hit the hay:
"Did you sleep good?" "I don't feel good" "you did good"

Seriously drives me BONKERS! Bonkers enough to make a gg account to tell the world how much it makes my skin crawl