Sam Schuerman Part 12

[FatalFlaw]

My version

BWAHAHA!

[Nichole1983]

It's like they have never heard of google. Just look something up that you don't know instead of sitting there trying to think of it and then asking subbies.

[DizzyLizzyA]

New to the Schuerman show & only know Sam via her beauty channel. How did they pay the bills before YouTube? Also thought someone said they lived in a trailer but I think another ossibility would be a pole barn. Those are better set up for basements&tend to be larger.

[Desert Wind]

Man. I watched... Suffered through... today's vlog and had a nice, bitchy post all written up and tried repeatedly to post it but kept getting error messages. GAH! What is wrong with this site, lately?

Haven't watched Sam's latest beauty vid, yet. I'm laughing at that GIF, tho. One would think that a full grown woman would know to keep her fucking tongue in her mouth. Occasionally isn't so bad, we all do it but with Sam, it is all of the time.

[mavisbetty]

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[Pyramid11]

Seems like Sam is making more replies back to comments on her beauty channel and I've seen a few on their vlog as well.

Wonder how long that will last.

[Edie]

Probably five minutes. Then in a vlog she will complain that she's just too busy to reply. She claims she gets hundreds/thousands of emails. She always manages to reply for free stuff!

[jennibell]

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Ham is so womanly and delicate. Just look at him!

[Desert Wind]

Oh for fucks sake, Sam. Bitching about the wind, again? Find a new subject.

New camera? How long will that one last? Phoenix is already demanding it. She will be back on her old fluffy one, crying about the new one being ruined or broken or "hidden by Lily" in about three days. Stupid fool.

The Pig looks put out. Wonder what is wrinkling his scrote? Did Christiana tell him too stay the fuck out of her underwear drawer? Did he have to mow the lawn? Is Sam on her period and he isn't getting all of the three minute hugs he wants? Did they run out of fixings for his home made Alpo and he has to eat healthy food?

Will Phoenix ever wear anything beside Christmas pajamas? Will Lily ever wear anything besides the ugliest little girl clothes on the planet?

Sam is ready too chop that mop. Finally! Long hair is beautiful, when it is properly cared for. Sam's? Not so fucking much. If you can't pamper it properly, chop that shit off.

is making wraps, again. All he can make is eggs, wraps and overly sauteed dog vomit.

Sam goes to Ulta looking like absolute shit. Of course! Sam, clean that chipped ass polish off of your nails! Your nails are jacked and they look gross.

The whole fam damily are in Target, the kids running loose as per the usual. Touching everything. Corral your brats. Phoenix and Lily look just as bad as Sam. Neither have had their hair brushed, they are both wearing sloppy clothes... No pride. That woman has no pride, no class. And she wonders why she can't get picked u by major companies like Target.

Squatting in the toy isle. Kids playing with everything. Take your brats home and let them play in that underdone, over sized toy dungeon you call a "playroom". People don't want to buy toys for their own children with your kids' boogers and germs all over them.

So Sam is still going to the gym after the kids are in bed? I guess they will die if she leaves them in the morning to work out. Dirty biotch is all sweaty, but she isn't going to shower? Just go edit and go to bed?

The Jobless, useless, flaccid is having a skype date with Maynard. Maybe Sam had to get out of the house to avoid having to hear the lisping, the sniviling and see him yanking his wee winkie in pure excitement.

[Nichole1983]

Sam bitching about the kitchen floor again How about not putting in dark flooring when you have young kids and a dog. My parents would never let my siblings and I run around in the store taking toys off the shelf. They would rarely take us in the toy department if they were not buying us anything. They didn't want us to see something we wanted and then cry for it. Lily and Phoenix just got a toy in the mail the day before so what was the point in Sam having Lily take the Barbies to Jay? Jay has a skype date with his friend every Friday Sam informed us. I don't know why Sam waits till the kids are in bed before she goes to the gym. They will be fine with Jay watching them .

[Nichole1983]

I had to run some errands the other day and a few of my nails were chipped a little but I still took the time to remove the polish. It took me less than 5 minutes and I was out the door. I don't know why Sam lets her nails get so grossly chipped. A few chips is one thing but Sam lets over half the polish chip off her nails. I don't see how she doesn't have 5 minutes or less to take the polish off.Even when she is filming beauty videos she doesn't take the time to remove the polish.

[Pyramid11]

Yep - beginning of the month and what does Sam buy - makeup. Probably didn't have a plan and bought crap to shoot a video just to shoot a video and get one up.

[jennibell]

Thanks for the recap Desert, fab as always. I give Sam's gym experience another 2 weeks or so before it stops, she'll "tweak" her back just like her dedicate little Ham Boy.

Poor Maynard, if I were him I would DEMAND the Ham keep his hands where I can see them, you just know he's rubbing his hairy mangina raw while Skyping with the Nard. You're so naaaassssty Ham!

[Nichole1983]

Someone commented on the vlog saying Jay looked unhappy and very tired and that Sam should do something about it.


Tired from what? The man doesn't have a job. I really shake my head at some of the things people post. Like people saying Jay should do his cooking channel. He couldn't keep his weight loss blog going and they eat the same things over and over. Anyone can make eggs and slap some things on a wrap and roll it up. They don't do a pizza night or taco night. There are so many foods they just never eat. Lily eats yogurt for breakfast just about everyday.

[FatalFlaw]

So, rather than picking up the pigsty, they buy yet another new camera. An upgrade dontcha know! And P is tantruming for it the second it comes out of the box. Gee. Wonder who took the old one??

[MrsGrimes]

Sam's photos of herself on instagram look awful lately. We all have wrinkles but hers are really standing out on her forehead. Is it her makeup or a new camera?

[Barbie888]

Can someone please explain to me , why she has no problem telling Lily not to spit but Phenix can do it on the breakfast table pretty much every day while he makes those stupid fart noises??

[amberinco]

I feel like there is very much a double standard in the Schuerman house. Jay can come and go and free will (whether it's coffee, the gym, hanging out with that one dude), but the minute Sam has to leave it's like this huge ordeal.

I understand that Sam probably has some social anxieties and is co-dependent, but seriously, why is it such a big deal when mommy leaves? Hell, some days I can't wait to get out of my house! Haha

[Beautyandcrafts]

Sam needs to lay off the self tanner and the 3 shades to dark orange foundation. This girl is a joke when it comes to that kind of stuff. Geeze Sam just embrace your white self and stop trying to be an Oompa Loompa. The days of "rocking" glitter eyeliner is over. That just looked silly.

[Desert Wind]

Sam won't leave the house when the "babies" are awake because she don't want them to "miss" her or be "traumatized" because she isn't there to dance attendance on them. She will only go out during the day if they are napping. Once she discovers that they are awake (she makes sure that whoever is home with them call her the moment they stir) she goes running home at light speed to be there so that they aren't awake long before they see her. That woman is a sick, overly attached, obsessed helicopter mother of the worse kind.

Her kids need to see her leaving the house and then coming home later in the day, so that they understand that mom has her own interests and things she likes to do but that she loves them and always comes home to them, when she is done doing her thing. Sam is so attached that she can't bear to be away from them for more than an hour or two. It's fucked up.